Let me first congratulate you for being here and reading this right at this moment. If you saw this post and it interested you, then you’ve probably tried exercising and disciplining yourself by going to the gym or using some exercise app on your phone, all in a bid to progress in your weight loss journey.
But sadly, you have found that you’re not cut out for that life after all.
However, the fact that you’re reading this now shows that you’ve not lost faith and are still willing to try again. That’s truly laudable. You deserve an accolade! Since you’re serious about this, I’ll just go ahead and give it to you. Here are five ways to lose weight that will not cost you anything:
1. Embrace Sapa
This one costs you nothing. When Sapa comes knocking, just open the door and tell him to have a seat. Even if you don’t have food, you guys can just hang out and you get to consume food for your soul from the deep conversations you would have.
The beautiful part is that all the while, you would just notice a newfound hatred for those junk you thought you couldn’t do without. Cravings? Zero! They will all vanish when you’re in the company of Sapa. All you need to do is drink water. You can even boil it for variety. I mean, everyone knows warm water helps in weight loss. You’re welcome, dears.
2. Take more walks
If you took more walks to the store, your lectures, or your workplace instead of public transport all the time, you would lose more weight. And I know this has often been identified as an adverse effect of Sapa-ism, but na you know wetin dey do you. You’re the one who knows what you’re after. So, even if people see you slaving under this brutal sun and shake their heads morosely for you as sweat pours down from your head, just say to yourself with a confident smile, “Those are my calories leaking out of my pores.”
And move again the following day o. Consistency is key, bruv!
3. Have a playlist you dance to while in the shower
You know I told you from the beginning that these weight loss tips would cost you nothing? Well, the same goes for this!
We already know you have a mini-concert while in the shower, so why not put it to good use? Make a suitable playlist of your favourite songs to dance to and play it while you’re in the shower. Whatever you are doing, sha make sure the total playtime is just like 20 minutes max.
After that, just know you’re doing aseju and it’s an excuse to not walk today. You already know you won’t get dressed quickly and will be too late so you’d have to take public transport. I know all your tricks.
Because I said you should dance in the shower doesn’t mean you should sleep there o. Let’s all be led.
4. Make your own Naija smoothie
Shebi they kuku just pick random ingredients that are healthy, blend it and call it a smoothie? Can’t be that hard my dear. And it can’t be that expensive either, the prices they sell it for are just ridiculous!
So here’s what we’re going to do. Since smoothies are very healthy and help in weight loss, na that way we go follow too. Only ours will not be as expensive. Ahn ahn, do you expect to get those fruits for nothing? The koko of the matter is that you’re sha mixing things so just look around in your kitchen for ingredients here and there that don’t have too many calories. Gbam! Smoothie is ready!
5. Check your account balance
Sharp sharp, you go comot at least 10 kg. Depends on how red it is sha. The redder, the better, the more weight you lose. After you check it, just go and sit down and think about your life. Think about the time you spent money on things you didn’t really need.
Beat yourself up o. I won’t tell you not to. It’s part of the weight loss process, so beat yourself up very well.
When you are na done, you can start thinking about how to make more money because you need it. Chances are even that whole process will help in your weight loss journey again because this economy just tuff.
But you’ll do well. You will figure it out. I believe in you. Fighting!