The African method of raising a child is one of the things that shaped the important men and women in our society into what they are today. It taught many of us the value of respect, hard work and tolerance.
However, this method still has flaws that need to be corrected. Some of these include:
1. Beating Their Children In An Unacceptable Way
Maybe a little beating to talk some sense into a child is needed but beating should not be a prerequisite for disciplining a child at all times. To make matters worse, some parents beat children without caring what it’ll do to their skin. I had a case where my classmate in secondary school was beaten by her mom that marks appeared on different parts of her body, disfiguring her tender skin.
Some African parents need to learn that beating doesn’t solve anything. For some like me, being made aware of what we did wrong verbally make us realize our mistakes and feel very bad for doing it even if it wasn’t intentional.
2. Use Of Negative Words
While growing up, I’ve witnessed several events where mothers especially rain nonstop curses on their children. Some even extend it to their husband and the whole community at large, making it a daily routine. Regardless of whether the assumption that the use of negative words will have bad impacts on the future of a child or not, it’s still very wrong to use negative words on your child. Besides this, using negative words on a child can demoralize the child. It can make a child feel uncared for or unwanted by the parent in question.
3. Avoiding Sexual Talks With Their Children
African parents need to grow past counting sexual talks with their children as a taboo. Sure, having a sex talk with your child can be weird but I say what’s worth doing is worth doing. One of the reasons why children make mistakes in that line is because they don’t get enough information. If you don’t want your child to get wrong information from other sources, they should hear it from you.
Make your children feel comfortable with talking about anything with you. Teenagehood is one of the most difficult stages in life so you must be ready to do extra if you don’t want your child to make avoidable mistakes.
4. Being Harsh On Their Children
One of the reasons why some children make wrong decisions is because their parents were too harsh on them. It’s never easy to run things by a parent who’s always shouting at you or never sees anything good in whatever you do. Some African parents like to transfer aggression from work on their children, which ain’t fresh at all.
No matter how hard it is trying to meet the demands of your new boss or selling products to meet your target as a sales rep, it’s unacceptable to transfer aggression to your children. Even if they’re the major reason why you’re struggling, the only thing you can do is seek emotional support from them or urge them to face their study so your efforts won’t be in vain.
5. Setting Academic Standards For Their Children
Another important thing African parents need to stop doing is setting academic standards for their children. Let’s be realistic, not everyone can attain academic excellence. Even if you made it academically or there are lots of people making it academically in your bloodline, it doesn’t guarantee that your child has that kind of potential.
We’re all created differently. The most important thing is having the required academic knowledge to get by every day. It’s not wrong to encourage your child to try to do better but remember that even a good result doesn’t guarantee getting a good job in this Nigeria of ours.
6. Putting Marital Pressure On Their Children
Even when children are grown enough, parents still don’t hesitate to deviate from putting pressure on their children. One of such is marital pressure which has forced lots of women to make the wrong choice in the place of marriage. Sure, time also matters when it comes to marriage, especially for the female species. But no matter how parents are eager to pick aso-ebi, or collect bride price, they’re advised to take things easy on their children.
As if marital pressure is not enough, some parents have forced their children to give birth prematurely. As a result of this, some give birth without having the essential resource to care for the child. African parents need to quit putting any form of pressure on their children.