Even if your father owns a multimillion-dollar oil pumping company, as long as you’re not financially responsible, you’ll soak garri for 5 days until it swells up, just like the other kids. With the passage of time, it appears that people are simply plucking money from trees, leaving the rest of us to wonder if they discovered a money-making Garden of Eden. We’re trapped in the trenches, eating worms.
It may be difficult to actually follow these rules, but if you do, sapa will hail you everywhere and you will most likely graduate with a Piggyvest savings of 5 million.
1. DATE AN ECONOMICS STUDENT
It’s time to take a walk to the Economics Department, where people are learning how to manage money more than anything else. I’ve heard that in university, they don’t teach you how to make money. But have you ever tried dating an Economics student?
First, no extra spending or cravings; you’re free to buy boxers and singlets as valentine and birthday gifts; extra socks, on the other hand, are a tad bit much. You don’t have to worry about fancy boxes from Instagram vendors who pile 5 chocolates and one mug in a box and call it #80,000.
Going on dates with your partner? Piece of cake! Just find a nice spot under the bridge for a lovely picnic of homemade goods. You’d love dating an Econs student so much that even your tuition fees can be managed.
2. DON’T BUY IPHONES
There, I said it! Don’t do it, my darling. You do not want to be forced to borrow money in order to buy the latest iPhone. Because you’ll be spending millions on data, you’ll be hosting the MTN company as their brand ambassador if your money isn’t finished on the phone. Wanna know what else comes with the iPhone? $Billings.00. You’ve automatically carried a placard that says “I’M RICH OOO, COMMAN COLLECT MY MONEY” as soon as you get a new iPhone.M
3. MAKE A FOOD TIMETABLE
Following a food timetable is the best invention known to man. “010, 101, 001, 110″. You understand the sequence of garri in the morning, water in the afternoon, Eba at night. This way you’re following a balanced diet; your tummy is full and there are no cravings for creamy shawarma or hamburger.
4. GET A SAVINGS BOX
You don’t even need to get online savings because you’ll be tempted to easily access it. To try to save as much money as possible, all you need to get is an old Bournvita or Milo can, seal it up with glue, make a hole, and then you get your makeshift piggybank. This way, you save up for your entire 4 or 7 years, depending on how lovingly the fight between ASUU and FG gets.
5. CREATE A BUDGET
Budget wise! Budget wise!! Make a list of your most important needs and create a scale of preference before you’ll suddenly see a crush you need to form “Who is your daddy? Otedola” for. I know you want to be a baller, not a mechanic, but if you had to say yes to every party and craving, that mechanic would arrive sooner than expected.
What’s the best way to make a budget? Withdraw only #1,000 and plan 2 weeks pot of soup with correct orisirisi (you need to eat healthily), the whole semester handouts, one sausage shawarma to reduce your cravings, and your partner’s gifts for the year. Shikena! Very prudent and resourceful.
Being financially wise is the beginning of your escape from sapa. Only he who has good eyes will follow these rules of wisdom.