How To Survive As The Only Single Guy In Your Clique 

Are you ugly? Or you’re yet to arrive? 

Well, till you bleach all the melanin off your face and gnaw at your facial boils, we @trybecity are here for you. We know it is not easy. We understand your pain. You must be tired, Frustrated, Stressed, Well, be sad no more. We have good news for you. 

So, the thing is, the management had a board meeting solely to discuss your predicament and our Manager, in the goodness of his heart, decided to take it upon himself to share his experience. No, he’s not that ugly. He just has the experience you need. In one statement, he has been in your shoes. We will now be handing over the mic to him. We hope this helps. 

“Hello, young bachelor, trust me when I say I feel you. For real. I feel your pain and I understand your struggles. I am here to help. Here are 3 quick tips to take to heart. One love, bruv.” 


You might wonder, ‘How does this help with anything?’. I want to promise you, it does. First, visit a pharmaceutical store, get a medium sized cotton wool. Whenever your guys are discussing their babes with pride and joy, and you can see the happiness on their faces, just go into your room, grab two small round chunk of wool, enter the kitchen, grab the palm oil, pour two tablespoons into a flat plate, soak the two chunks properly and nicely tuck them into your ears. One for each ear. Trust me my man, that helps, always! You will hear nothing. Nothing at all. Try it out and tell me your opinion in the comment section. Yes, I know, you’re grateful. What are brothers for. *winks* 

This second OT is sure to change your life, bro. I mean it. 


I’m sure you didn’t think I’d tell you to create a neat round hole of average width in your pillow, right? I’m sure you did not think I would tell you to lubricate thoroughly before digging in, right? Nah. Bruv. We don’t do that here. What i was going to tell you is this: 

You can hear your guy in the opposite room knacking up some babe, right? Ma worry. Just do this. Grab your pillow, Go into your toilet, Seat on your toilet seat, Place your phone on DND, adjust your buttocks on the seat, Clear your throat. Take a good look at the pillow and with one deep intake of breath, scream your lungs out into the pillow softness. Mhenn! Works for me everytime. There’s no limit, Yell for as long as you want to. Until you are sure you can handle the banging and smacking next door. 

But beware, never ever NOT yell into your pillow. You don’t want to seem off and weird around your guys. Plus, the babe he dey knack sef fii get eye for you. Be smart, bruv. Don’t let your guard down in these streets. 

Last but not least 


Listen, my man. Believe it or not, half of the bros at the gym are sad as fvck. There’s nothing to be ashamed of. Grab your big man pants and go sign up. Take your mind off stuff, Let out all that stress and confusion. In turn, you gain the Gold Medal that makes them babes drool — you gain the muscles. Have a focus. What do you think will suit your physique? Broad shoulders, Abs or thick thighs? Take your time. Seek the opinion of your Gym Instructor — that man has seen it all, trust me. His advice will be helpful in the long run. 

The bottomline is, don’t go into a gym with the aim of pleasing some babe or catching more fish. That’s foolish. Go for yourself, you deserve that much. 

In essence, work hard. Boss up. Take responsibility for your actions and inactions. Have a religion and stand by it. Be open to correction, but harness your principles. Really start to show up for yourself and you’ll see how sweet life can be. Opportunities and babes go line up. I promise you, man, Bless up!” 

And there you have it from our able and handsome Manager. We hope these help, once again. Just so you know, we see you. We see how hard you’re trying and here’s a reminder that you are almost at the end of the tunnel. Everywhere go soon soft.

Till we see you next. Drop your opinions in the comment section. Help a fellow brother. 

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