It is imperative we always remember that ‘Men are not good people’.

Let me now rephrase it, ‘Unilag Boys are not good people’. Fear Unilag boys and try as much as possible to flee from them. I repeat, don’t run but flee.

I know I have exaggerated a little above, as there are still Good Boys you will find among Unilag students but always remember that I warned you to escape.

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Now, let us take a look at the categories of Unilag Boys you cannot but escape from.

1. The Fine Boys

He is an akokite, he come fine again!

Fear them please, they are very dangerous!

There is no definite percentage of Unilag boys that fall into this category in which you have to try to escape from, but you should be alert when you are around such guys.

They are very attractive and most of them tend to be playboys; wolves in sheep clothing looking for who to devour. Escaping from them does not mean when you see them you pick a race or you should not mingle with them; you just have to make sure you have your own defense mechanism.

Beware comrade and do not catch feelings.

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2. The Popular Boys

I intentionally separated this category from ‘The Fine Boys’ category because there are some boys that are popular but don’t have attractive looks. The guys of this category are known as, ‘the one for everybody’. They are popular for a particular reason and they attract people due to that.

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Set awon ‘come downstairs, I am in front of your hostel’; their best line ever. Even after realising this and you still want to make advances to such people, just beware to avoid stories that touch.

3. The Mariere Guys

Who does not know The Mariere Guys?

The Kings of twerking, lol.

This is another category of Unilag boys you should try to escape from. I mean, why should a guy be twerking? What is not normal is not normal, please. You might just be seeing this for the first time and be wondering where this came from. This is a highlight from what happened during the 2019 Hall Week. Some of the residents of Mariere Hall were twerking (like they were girls in their past life) during a dance show.

You might as well want to escape such category of guys.

4. The Tech Gees

It is not new that tech bros are attractive, but remember to escape. Do not forget men are not good people.

They are the cute guys that are tech sauvy, very smart and yet they can shatter your heart.

You might be thinking if I have experienced it myself. Definitely not; but I have heard stories.

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5. The Thugs

Akokites, if you have never passed the front or back of Jaja and be somewhat ridiculed before, hands in the air.

No hands!

These set of guys would disgrace you by calling you names once you pass by.

I do not wish to call them ‘Thugs’, but there is no term that is more fitting that this. A quite number of times, I have to escape going through the front or back of Jaja in order to avoid being embarrassed or harassed. It is their norm and I do not think there is anything that could be done to change that.

To avoid ruining your day or feeling bad on a good day, you might as well try to avoid going through either the front or the back of Jaja. You cannot always escape but you can always do it a number of times.

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6. The Drinker Guys

Everybody, this is a red flag!

This category of guys drink for a living. For every occurrence, they would want to drink to it. Imagine if there is a blackout in the hostel or their club just won a match, they will be the one to clamor for celebration by drinking to it.

Drunkards of the universe!

Well, at least if you want to preserve integrity and avoid certain happenings, you must try to escape from them.

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7. The Scholars and SU’s

And the last but not the least, we have the Scholars and the SU’s guys.

They give off too serious vibes abeg. Life is not that hard naw.

If you do not want to infected with their vibes, escape as much as possible. These set of guys tend to be attractive but they would not give you what you want. Therefore, move on.

The truth is there are infinite categories of Unilag guys you can only try to escape from and you are the only one that can be conscious enough to recognize them.

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I know that with all I have made emphasis on, na wetin dey your mind you go do.

Anyways, it is not expected that these categories of Unilag boys are avoided completely but always remember that ‘Caution before Safety’.

Please note that this article is for fun and should not be taken personal in any way. This does not mean that these set of people should be cut off from the society or be treated with aversion. This is only for informative purposes.

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