An exclusive interview with a label under the LGBTQ flag. While talking about homosexuality can be a hard topic to breach with most people, it can be quite interesting to peel the layers of homophobia and get to imbibe deeply in the intriguing topic.
Interviewer: I understand this is a hard limit topic even for the most open-minded person, but this is a safe zone for you.
Lady: I guess so, even after safely breaching the news to closest friends, or having a normal random conversation with an acquaintance, treading the grounds of homosexuality is like walking on a ground of nails.
Interviewer: Truer words have never been spoken, however let the audience meet you.
Lady: I’m identified as a bisexual woman, even though I do not like to put labels.
Interviewer: Putting labels are a necessary evil to prevent unnecessary confusion, I know there are about a thousand genders known under the rainbow flag. What pronouns would you like to be identified as?
Lady: Please address me as She/Her, I’m still a female. I think pronouns are more applicable to transexuals or crossdressers.
Interviewer: True, lol. I think even till now, most people do not know how to address Bobrisky or James Brown. Infact, basically any man or woman who dresses and looks so much like the opposite sex. Would you address such persons as being homophobic?
Lady: Lol, no. Everybody is allowed to have free reins on what they say, that doesn’t necessarily tag them as being homophobic. Identifying homophobic persons is easy, they cringe at topics relating to homosexuality, they can’t stand watching same sex engage in sexual activities or conversations but these may be just people who can’t stand open sexual activity. Homophobic persons are unable to keep their thoughts and actions to themselves so they may say something demeaning or even go ahead as hurling stones and stigmatizing homosexuals.
Interviewer: Hurling stones? In 21st century. No one gets burned or shamed publicly anymore for choosing who they want to love.
Lady: Some people’s minds just aren’t ready to accept certain things especially in this country. You really don’t see LGBTQ clubs out in the open or random gay guys kissing each other in the street.
Interviewer: True, not to sound against homosexuals or be a spoil sport, but you most definitely cannot kiss the same sex in public nor profess your undying love to your crush.
Interviewer: When did you first realize that you’re not as straight as a ruler as you think?
Lady: Most women are bicurious, but really, while engaging in sexual activities with my boyfriends in my past relationships, there was always something missing. Naturally at the time, I felt I was missing more. I view sex as an art and being such an adventurous spirit. I stepped out of the shadows into more.
Interviewer: Oh wow! So would you say being with either genders is different or basically the same?
Lady: It is totally different, exquisitely designed for its own job. While being with women has its own strengths and weaknesses, the same goes to men too. Everyone has their own perfect role and cannot even be substituted.
Interviewer: Interesting, but I still cannot view the difference because if we’re talking about cunnilingus and fellatio (they’re both oral sex) and the other actually involves real sex.
Lady: You should not be deceived at what is real sex or not. Both involve sex and both can provide equally what the other can’t. What definitely strikes them apart is the suppleness they both come with, while I can be dominant and be myself with a woman, I also enjoy submission and allowing someone else to take the reins while being with a man.
Interviewer: How do you manage your relationships with either gender? Jealousy and insecurities must be present.
Lady: That’s the essential purpose of talking stages. When I love, I love deeply and I hate every form of cheating. To prevent seeing a beautiful woman and not being able to keep my hands and eyes to myself, I prefer being single, that way I’m always available to both sides.
Interviewer: It’s beautiful to choose and play for both teams. But while playing for home and away, who do you see yourself settling down with in the future?
Lady: Really! I do not know, it’s a hard decision on my part. The country isn’t supportive enough and well, I should really say I’m still young enough at 25 to decide who the perfect Mr. Right Or Miss Right is.
Interviewer: But getting married should be a piece of cake because you only have to worry about your family accepting who you are.
Lady: Choosing not to be as the normal norms as people would say is more than walking in a field of roses. Yes, things should be easy enough with the assumption that I’ve come out to the ones that matter. But unfortunately, only few close friends and my siblings know about it. Coming out to African parents can be quite unpredictable and I’m not sure I’m psychologically ready for the consequences. I’d love to give it a few more years down the lane when I’m fully my own person and I can consider showing to them rather than spilling the guts.
Interviewer: I know things may come a bit a harder for homosexuals, even in the most advanced of countries, few people barely identify their sexuality publicly.
Lady: Yes, even in same sex marriage legalized country, not everyone living there share the same insight. However being under the rainbow flag doesn’t necessarily mean shouting to the world what you are. Baring out my sexuality is a personal concern and when it’s not needed for a public reason, I do not voice out my opinion and let people assume the normalcy.
Interviewer: If you had a kid that identifies as a label of LGBTQ e.g. transsexual. How would you address the situation as a parent?
Lady: Having my child go through changes in their gender isn’t as easy as it seems. I would prefer if my kid reaches as certain age, let’s say 20 before they make life altering decisions. I would be non judgmental and support them because it can be quite tasking.
Interviewer: Since you identified as being bisexual, what are the perks that came with it. Definitely the cons must have been quite unbearable at a point.
Lady: Yes, the side effects can be daunting sometimes. Uno, losing good friendships because they can’t see past the present, getting judged by chronic religious people and yes, I’ve had to deal with the whispers behind my back. They can hurt some times but you have to learn to close yourself to what’s bad for your health.
Interviewer: Talking about religion, how have you been able to cope and address the religious beliefs?
Lady: It wasn’t easy, I was led to believe I was the chronic sinner and I had a hard time going to church without feeling I was stained. But then, people casting stones were rigged into fornications and adultery. I guess I lived my life as a normal sinner and since I need God, I’m a firm believer in one. I didn’t allow my choice of sexuality to deter me from my beliefs.
Interviewer: Were you ever worried about “this” just being a phase?
Lady: “This” isn’t a phase to me, at a point I thought maybe I was making bad decisions. It’s very easy to get derailed and make ugly decisions because of fleeting moments. However, I’ve been bisexual for quite a while and while I haven’t found the perfect human yet. I’m fully convinced this isn’t just a phase.