When ASUU and the federal government finally reaches an agreement, and the strike Is called off, there are two group of people that’ll also have an hard time reaching an agreement: off campus students and their landlords.

Individuals like myself who opted for school accommodation can’t help but jubilate now. I can’t count the amount of Jabs school hostels get due to the supposed bad living condition ( it’s not that bad). Who’s the lucky one now??

Related: Tips To Surviving As A University Student

Fear not, I’m not that petty, I have a few tips that’ll help you continue your rent exactly from where you stopped. Oh, it’s fine, you don’t have to thank me.

1) Buy the house

This would be the most effective way, just purchase the house, that way you won’t have to pay rent. You’ll be the one collecting rent from the other tenants but if you are dragging rent with your landlord I doubt you have enough money to buy the house. If that’s the case with you, the next tip is for you.

2) Date the landlord

You’ll be surprised about the things people do for love. As the strike is still on, this is the time for you to strike. You can start by giving him obvious signals; flirt, smile, compliment his receding hairline, call his wrinkled face cute, boost his ego. Make him know that you see beyond his outward appearance. Go to the market and purchase lots of bum shorts and camisoles, luck might be on your side and you get to live there rent-free till you break up with him. If you’re a guy, you can still try, who knows? Your landlord might swing that way.

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Read Also: 7 Things Federal University Students Deserve After ASUU Strike

3) Date the landlord’s child

The last tip didn’t work? Try this!

If your Landlord has a young son or beautiful daughter, you’re in luck, if not, it still works. The point of this is to seduce them, you’ll be surprised at the gravity of influence children have on their parents.

Put your all, you know you’re broke, and you might even decide to drop the L-bomb a few weeks into it. Even if he or she is not your type, tell him he has a beautiful shadow and tell her she has a cute lip.

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4) Kidnap your landlord and ask for rent as a ransom

You didn’t manage to seduce your landlord’s son or daughter, it seems the peaceful way isn’t your calling. Vawulence is the next, you can arrange boys to abduct your landlord, ruffle him up a bit and contact his children. Be humble, don’t ask for millions, you can just ask for the rent with a little change on top to settle the boys. It’s a win-win situation, the landlord gets his rent and you don’t have to sell your kidneys to pay the rent.

Check this out: 7 Categories Of UNILAG Boys You Should Avoid

5) Meet/Call Baba for soap

If the four attempts were unsuccessful and you were even arrested while attempting the kidnap, then you should realize that your village people are at a hair’s breadth from you.

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Don’t even try praying to God as there is no way he’ll help you steal from your landlord.

The next thing is to ask baba for soap, ask your friends, there might be someone with a sure plug to a sure baba. Once the soap is acquired, wash your head, and try the above tips.

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6) Carry gun

If everything didn’t work, resort to the last option and just carry gun. I’m a woman of peace so I won’t advice you to shoot. You can just get a toy gun to avoid stories that touch and threaten your landlord. You can declare to your landlord about your intentions to continue your rent from where you stopped.

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At least one of these tips should work, and if doesn’t, you can sell your kidneys to pay your rent because there’s no other way tor you oo.

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Holla, I'm Adeola, an Undergraduate of Biochemistry at the University of Lagos. I have an extreme addiction to good books and movies.

8 Comments

  • Kenny, June 4, 2022 @ 5:03 pm Reply

    Well done, cracking me up😂

  • Ddd, June 4, 2022 @ 6:00 pm Reply

    Rubbish

  • A. A. Badmus, June 4, 2022 @ 7:43 pm Reply

    This is interesting 😂

  • Icon, June 5, 2022 @ 10:41 am Reply

    This writer is something else 😅😅
    How you go date the landlord.
    You have forgotten eeé get wife😅😅

  • Icon, June 5, 2022 @ 10:42 am Reply

    😅😅😅

  • Eunique, June 5, 2022 @ 12:21 pm Reply

    Na to kidnap my landlord 😅😅

  • God, June 5, 2022 @ 10:12 pm Reply

    That’s why your name is Akamu.. like a pap, your brain’s thick, but has no content within.

  • Icon, June 7, 2022 @ 2:49 pm Reply

    Ahh ahhh!!!
    Why the insult

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